15 golden points to become a complete software professional

1. Never write a line of code that someone else canunderstand.
2. Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Uselong counter intuitive names. Don't ever code "a=b",rather do something like:AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)[&(unsignedlong)(BetaFrameNodeFarm)]3. Type fast, think slow.
4. Never use direct references to anything ever. Buryeverything in macros. Bury the macros in includefiles. Refer those include files indirectly from otherinclude files. Use macros to refer those includefiles.
5. Never include a comment that will help someone elseunderstand your code. If they understand it, theydon't need you.
6. Never generate new sources. Always use the oldones. Every binary in the world should be generatedfrom the same sources.
7. Never archive all the sources necessary to build abinary. Always hide on your own disk. If they canbuild your binary, they don't need you.
8. Never code a function to return a value. Allfunctions must return a pointer to a structure whichcontains a pointer to a value.
9. Never discuss things in concrete terms. Alwaysspeak in abstract. If they can understand you, theydon't need you.
10. Never complete a project on time. If you do, theywill think it was easy and anyone can do it and theydon't need you.
11. When someone stops by your office to ask aquestion, talk forever but don't answer the question.If they get their questions answered, they don't needyou.
12. Load all sentences either written or spoken withalphabet soup. When someone asks you out to lunch,reply, "I can't because I've almost got my RISC-basedOSI/TCP/IP client connected by BIBUS VMS VAX usingSMTP over TCP sending SNMP inquiry results to beencapsulated in UDP packets for transmission to a SUN4/280 NFS 4.3 BSD with release 3.6 of RPC/XDRsupporting our ONC effort working."
13. Never clean your office. Never ever throw away anold listing.
14. Never say hello to someone in the hallway.Absolutely never address someone by name. If you mustaddress someone by name, mumble or use the wrong name.Always maintain the mystique of being spaced out fromconcentrating on complex logic.
15. Never wear a shirt that matches your pants. Wear awrinkled shirt whenever possible. Your shirt mustnever be tucked in completely. Button the top buttonwithout wearing a tie. This will maximize yourmystique